


We're Always Together

by coolgirl3890



Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017), Legend of the Three Caballeros (Cartoon), The Three Caballeros (1944)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Domestic Fluff, Donald is the best dad/uncle, Established Relationship, Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamory, Romance, Wedding Fluff, so is Panchito and José, the three gay overprotective dads
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2019-09-17 05:05:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16968216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coolgirl3890/pseuds/coolgirl3890
Summary: An AU where Panchito and José stay in Duckburg to help Donald raise the triplets (also they're gay).





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to bamboozledeage for being my beta for this fic! You can find them by the same username on AO3 and Tumblr!
> 
> This was written on a whim to see more Three Caballeros content and them being more fatherly/unclely (is that even a word?) Let me know what you guys think and if you would be interested in seeing more

“GET OFF OF ME!”

It was not unusual to hear yelling in the Duck family residence. It was well known on the dock that noise could be heard from the unsuspecting houseboat at any time of the day. After all, who could expect a house of six people to be even remotely silent?

The kitchen was where everything happened. Meals, homework, game nights, serious discussions about finances when the kids were put to bed all happened at one, little booth. When it came to furniture, there was no much save for the bare essentials. The most decorated part of the house was the wall facing the stairs. Dozens of framed photos adorned the wall, almost all of them featuring the triplets Huey, Dewey, and Louie. The earliest one was of them as eggs, all securely nestled in hand-woven, colorful blankets. The latest one on the wall was Huey at a Junior Woodchuck ceremony, receiving yet another badge to adorn his well-decorated sash.

What was the cause of such mayhem? “You can’t wear this to your job interview.” Said one of the triplets, Louie, after chasing Donald around the house in order to tear off his “unacceptable” outfit. He tossed his uncle’s sailor uniform in the trash and in its place, held up a freshly-ironed suit and tie. “You have to dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Which is no job.”

And it seemed not even the most lax of creatures was immune to the stress of the morning grind. Another bird skidded into the kitchen in a similar state of undress as Donald. José came bursting out from the bedroom, shirt buttons halfway done while the other half were being hastily dealt with by green fingers.

“Boys, have you seen my-”

A small, feathered hand shot up with the object in question. “Right here, Uncle Zé!”

“ _Obrigada, meu menino_.” José said, taking the bowtie from Louie and ruffling his head in thanks. If he had a moment to stop and think, José might have remembered that he never misplaced his bowtie. The only thing more essential to his every outfit was his hat. But today, he did not have that luxury. If only he could see the sly looks Huey and Dewey gave each other while him and Donald ran around the houseboat.

“Are you sure we can’t come with you just this once, Tío José?” Huey begged from his spot at the stove, despite Donald’s earlier protests. Him and his brothers always begged before José left for a flight.

“Oh boys, I won’t be going anywhere interesting today.” In truth, José would have loved to bring the boys with him on a flight. Even if they could only spend a few hours in some town near the airport, a trip in a airplane might sate their restless natures. Maybe one day, when they were older.

A voice called out from a few feet away. “What’s this? You two don’t want to spend time with your super-cool tío? You wound me!”

The only occupant not involved in the hectic morning routine was sitting on the couch. Rare it was to see energetic Panchito being the one to relax, with the television remote in one hand and the other cradling a bowl of whatever cereal Huey had poured for him. But as luck would have it, the rooster had no birthday parties, funerals, weddings, bar-mitzvahs, or bat-mitzvahs to perform at today which meant he was on babysitting duty. An easier task said than done.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay being alone with the boys today?” Donald asked as he tugged on his suit. What he wouldn’t give to wear his old sailor uniform.

“Of course we will! Me and the _pollitos_ can hold the fort down for a few hours!” Panchito called out with a wave of his hand. The same hand quickly went to his belt when the ring of a phone went off. As Panchito spoke on the phone, Donald’s thoughts went to his upcoming interview.

Donald so desperately wanted this to go well. Maybe, just maybe, the paycheck he would get from this position would finally move them out of this crowded houseboat and into an apartment or maybe even an actual house, if he dared dream. José could stop taking so many overnight flights and spend more time with the boys. Panchito would be able to stock their pitiful fridge with fresh ingredients and cook them all the meals he said he always wanted to make. All he had to do was not screw up, just this once.

Donald flinched when Panchito let out a grito that could wake up the entire dock. “That was my agent,” Panchito explained for the outburst. “He booked me a job and a well-paying one at that!”

Donald tried to get a word in as Panchito ran around the boat trying to find his guitar. “But the kids-”

“Perhaps we can hire a babysitter?” José gently suggested.

“But where are we going to get a babysitter at-” He pulled out his phone to check the time, “10 o’clock!”

“That means you gotta go!” Huey exclaimed, jumping down from his stool to help Louie push their uncles out the door.

“We just can’t leave you!” Donald protested as him and his husbands were corralled onto the dock.

“We’ll survive for a couple of hours!” Louie insisted.

“Come now, _meu amor_ , surely the boys are old enough that we can leave them home for just a few hours?” José gently suggested. When it came to letting the boys do something, he tended to be the devil’s advocate.

Panchito chimed in. “José is right. The boys aren’t eggs anymore. They can look after each other.”

Donald pondered this. Panchito and José always said how overprotective he got with the triplets, but they rarely ever spoke against it. Perhaps it was time to trust his nephews to keep themselves alive without his help.

A sigh and shortly after, a reluctant nod. “Fine, but keep your life vests on!”

“Yes, Uncle Donald.” Huey and Louie replied monotoned, already passing each other the life vests José had “borrowed” from one of the commercial airlines he worked on.

“They’ll be fine.” Panchito said as they turned their backs to the boat.

Then the houseboat started to rumble.

Three pairs of narrowed eyes peered down at Huey and Louie. “Where’s Dewey?” Donald demanded.

He did not stop to hear the two’s excuses, marching inside the boat for the wayward triplet. Moments later, he came out with Dewey in tow.

A loud sigh escaped José’s beak. They loved the triplets, but those boys had a talent for getting themselves into trouble the moment one of their backs were turned. “Perhaps I can take them to work with me.” José suggested when he saw the frantic look on Donald’s face. “Or maybe I can ask someone to cover for me-”

“No, let me take them.” Panchito offered. “I’m sure no one will care if the boys stand somewhere in the back-”

Donald shook his head, a defeated and resigned look crossing his features. “That won’t be necessary.” He said with a sigh. “I know someone who can watch them.”

As Donald herded the boys into their beat-up station wagon, Panchito and José looked at each other worryingly. There was only one person in Duckburg who could take in the kids at such short notice. Considering who it was, they thought Donald was handling it pretty well.

That is, until they saw him bang his head against the steering wheel of the car. Multiple times.

  
~ ~ ~

Donald ended the call with his worries only slightly abated. Scrooge and the kids said they did nothing exciting, but that was hard for him to believe. Even the most mundane days spent with Scrooge McDuck were filled with danger. Of course, he would much rather have José or Panchito watch the kids, even if they were slightly critical of his overprotective ways. But he trusted them to not do anything dangerously stupid with them around. That was more than what he could say for Scrooge.

At least he got to wear his sailor uniform again.

Donald sighed, staring down at the employee card Glomgold had given him. He was homesick already. He hated taking jobs that forced him away from his family, but he needed to go where the money was. José’s job as a flight attendant gave them a steady and reliable paycheck, but it was not enough to support two fully-grown men and three growing boys. Panchito was like him, always searching for the next job to make sure their houseboat stayed afloat in the literal and figurative sense. How Donald couldn’t wait for this journey to be over so that he could collapse in his hammock. Panchito and José would always come shortly after, and they would argue who gets to be in the middle tonight and who would be making the boys breakfast the next-

The screech of a sound system came to life, grating on the duck’s already frayed nerves. What did Glomgold want now?! Didn’t he already finish his stupid training video?!

“Ahem. Attention all passengers, this is José Carioca and I will be your flight-er-ship attendant for this trip.”

No, it couldn’t be-

Donald turned to the source of the sound, wondering if all those sleepless nights, stress, and the yearning for his lovers finally made him snap because there was no way his husband was standing on the same, rickety ship as him this very moment. But there he was, José demonstrating how to put on a life vest with the same grandeur as a king making a decree as his coworkers let the instructions go in one ear and out the other. He snapped out of his trance once José got to the ever-important request of locating the nearest exit to you and walked towards him.

“Sir, please sit down, you will be free to move around the plane-er-boat once I finish-Donald?!” The microphone dropped from his grasp as the duck approached. Based on the expression on his face, Donald could assume that José was also wondering if the stress, lack of sleep, and yearning for his lovers finally made him snap.

“Zé! What are you doing here?!”

“The same as you, I presume. My job!” José answered defensively.

“But you’re a flight attendant! This isn’t a plane, this is a ship going to Atlantis!” Which Donald remembered that he was suppose to be sailing.

“Must you rub it in? And that is what I told Senhor Glomgold when I saw the trip itinerary! But he just said ‘What’s a boat but a plane too cowardly to fly?’.When he told me what the pay would be, I couldn’t refuse!”

Donald ran a hand through his feathers as he tried to process what insanity he got himself into this time. He had a feeling that Glomgold was “off his kilter”, as his uncle would say, but why would he spend the extra money on someone who’s only job was to make sure passengers got their free snacks and knew where their life vests were located (This time, in the rental shop onboard the ship). An over-the-top Scottish accent cut through his thoughts like a plaid-covered chainsaw.

“Now, please enjoy the onboard entertainment courtesy of Glomgold Industries!”

Donald and José did not even have to turn around to know who it was once they heard the first three cords of a guitar.

~ ~ ~

  
“Look, its little Dewey taking his first steps!”

Two soft “awwws” filled the air.

A red finger swiped left on the phone screen. “ _¡Mira, mira!_ Huey playing the guitar!”

“Remember how as a baby he would always stop his crying if you played a song for him?” José reminisced fondly as he nuzzled closer to Donald. He reached out and swiped to another family photo. “ _Quão precioso!_ Louie wearing my hat!”

An obligatory “awww” went through Donald yet again. At first they wondered what sort of weird coincidence brought them all together, but they eventually agreed that they should enjoy their time together rather than question it. Of course, their conversation soon turned to their boys which made Donald pull out his phone and scroll through the measly 2,398 photos he had on the phone with him. He found himself wishing he'd transferred some from his 3 terabytes on the computer. It looked like it was gonna be a long journey.

Donald sighed and powered down his device to conserve battery. “I miss them so much, but we need this job.”

Panchito nodded. “ _Sí_ , and if I manage to impress Glomgold, perhaps I can perform at his corporate events!”

An encouraging hand landed on Panchito’s knee. “I am sure you have already impressed him. And perhaps this will be my chance at getting to attend to a private jet!”

Their nostalgic musings were brought to an end by the screeching and flashing lights of an alarm.

“We got intruders!” The wolf Slash barked to them as they rushed over to the monitoring system along with the rest of the crew.

Except José, never one to rush unless pressed, who casually walked over to the screen. “Who could it possibly be?” The parrot questioned. He was justified in thinking that only the desperate (like himself) and the insane (like his employer) would willing board this ship.

“Strange weather patterns and a mysterious location near treasure,” Glomgold chuckled as he zoomed in on the location of the intruders with his security camera, “I knew he couldn’t resist!”

On the grainy screen was Scrooge McDuck, looking rather impatient as he stood outside a room. Donald felt his left arm go into a deathgrip. “I thought Scrooge was supposed to be watching the kids!” Panchito whispered frantically into his ear.

“I-I’m sure Mrs. Beakley is watching over them.” Donald suggested quietly as he tried to release his arm from his husband’s grasp.

Only for the grip somehow became even tighter when Huey, Dewey, and Louie came running out of the door Scrooge was waiting by.

If it wasn’t for years of raising young and impressionable boys, the duck would be throwing curses at his uncle that would make even his old sailor buddies blush. Instead, Donald settled for promising death upon his relative, preferably through slow strangulation by his own hands. José bit down on his fingernails in and kept restraining himself from reaching out towards the screen as if he could somehow pull the boys out from it and drag them to his side. As for Panchito, he simply fainted.

  
~ ~ ~

“When I get my hands on Scrooge...” Donald muttered, trailing off into obscenities as he marched through the City of Atlantis with fury. José and Panchito followed close behind, feeling more inclined to Donald’s mutterings the longer they spend in this place.

They had arrived shortly before Scrooge’s submarine had. Donald had to physically restrained himself and his husbands once they caught sight of the boys. They would put themselves and the triplets in jeopardy if Scrooge’s insane rival found out that they were related to him. So at some point during their adventure, Donald made some lame excuse that he had to use the bathroom with José and Panchito making the same excuse moments later. Thank God Scrooge became rivals with an idiot.

Years of adventuring had given Donald the confidence to scout out unknown territory with enviable ease. It made Panchito and José wonder if the only reason their husband wasn’t freaking out was because he had probably been in similar situations like this before with his sister. They did not dare ask though. But they were grateful at least one of them knew what they were doing. It was a lot easier to stay calm when you had a competent person by your side.

They enter a room just in time to see Donald’s ass get burnt to a crisp.

In any other situation, this would have been highly amusing to the rooster and parrot (For some reason, slapstick comedy never got old when it came to Donald) if not for Donald looking up and letting out a soft but heartfelt, “Oh no”.

Two gasps of horror soon followed when Panchito and José looked up as well. There on a suspension bridge with criss-crossing beams of light was Dewey and Scrooge. Donald glanced down at the fire trap then back up again to the beams, quickly putting two-and-two together. Then Dewey began crossing the bridge.

“Dewey!” Donald shouted in alarm. His dread soon turned to determination as the duck swiftly grabbed an abandoned shield of metal.

It was amazing that even after all these years of civilian life, Donald could still act under life-threatening conditions. Realizing what their husband was trying to do, Panchito and José scrambled to find discarded metal shields as Dewey danced his way through the death trap. The seer physical force of the flames was incredible, requiring the birds to lean their entire weight on their shields, even when a few of their feathers caught on fire. But even with singed feathers and second-degree burns in the making, the trio pushed onward to keep their kid from harm.

The last trap proved to be the most difficult. Donald had apparently found the only fireproof shield in the room while José and Panchito’s had melted into a magamos liquid after covering the flames for only a few seconds. Therefore, the three men had to push down the shield with all their might while Dewey took his sweet, sweet time. And fireproof or not, metal, especially when placed over a powerful flamethrower, can still get really hot.

The pressure and the heat from the flamethrower became too much for them. They all let go at the same time, cradling their burnt hands as the flamethrower made quick work of the bridge. Luckily, Dewey was out of harm’s way when the stone crumble to the ground. Donald was the unlucky one, getting hit right under the chin as the shield projected into the air.

“Donald, are you okay?” Asked Panchito, wondering what the procedure was for a potential concussion.

“I’m fine.” Donald lied. “You guys go find Huey and Louie, I’ll catch up with you guys later. I’m going after Scrooge.”

Donald made sure to faint only after Panchito and José are completely out of his sight.

~ ~ ~

“Maybe we should go back for Donald.” José suggested as him and Panchito felt their way around the damp, dark tunnel. Damn Glomgold for being too cheap to buy flashlights!

“He’ll be fine.” Panchito said as he stepped out into a clearing. “You know our Donald, he’s as tough as-”

José slammed into Panchito from behind when the rooster suddenly stopped mid stride. He rubbed his aching beak. “Panchito, _o que está errado_?”

José never got an answer from him. He watched as Panchito ran to the opposite end of the room, arms spread wide as if he was about to take off for flight. A few more steps into the clearing and José finally saw what prompted such a reaction.

Huey and Louie, they were okay! Upon getting close enough to them, Panchito sweeped them up into a bone-crushing hug. They squirmed as their feet dangled a few inches from the ground.

“ _¡Mis mijos, mis angelitos, mis cielitos! ¿Estás bien? No te preocupes, tu tío Panchito está aquí_.”

“We’re..fine..Tío...Panchito!” Huey struggled to say as his rooster uncle slowly suffocated Louie and him to death. “Please...put us...down!” Louie gasped.

Panchito finally released them from his deadly hug just as their other uncle caught up to him.“Do you have any idea how worried your uncles and- _Oh meu Deus_ , what’s wrong with him?!”

Off to the side was a tall, beefy duck who looked to be on the brink of passing out, death, or both and a little girl duck who looked to be around the same age as their nephews.

The girl bounced on the heels of her feet as she looked up at Panchito and José with barely-contained excitement. “Ohmygoshohmygosh, you guys got more uncles?! That’s incredible!” She gave them a friendly wave. “Hi, I’m Webby,” She begins, then gestures to the adult that was accompanying them. “And this is Launchpad!”

Their reunion was cut short by maniacial, Scottish laughter. Standing in the crevice Panchito and José came through was their employer, Flintheart Glomgold, and his crew.

“Well would you look at that, Scrooge McDuck’s nephews! Good on you two for finding them! Don’t know why I bothered hiring the rest of this lot!” Glomgold congratulated them and berating the others in the same breath. In his arms was a giant jewel, the Jewel of Atlantis as he called it. One arm cradled it protectively as the other pointed to the children. “All of you, take them down!” He ordered.

Panchito and José stood in front of the children and incapacitated adult, ready to defend them at all costs. The husbands shared a knowing smirk to each other as the mercenaries ran closer.

“Luckily, I always have my guitar on me.” Panchito said as he brought out his instrument with a flourish.

“And I always bring my _sombrinha_.” José replied, wielding his umbrella like a sword.

Though they looked fearsome, the warriors Glomgold hired were outnumbered and outclassed. And though José and Panchito tried to direct the fighting away from the children, the two brothers and one girl came rushing into the fray. From the corner of his eyes, José watched with no small concern as the girl known as Webby dodged the swing of a sword like something out of a movie. Needless to say, he shortly ran over to her side for aid (though she hardly needed it). Panchito watched in both pride and horror as Huey and Louie teamed up on the taller wolf and incapacitated him with nothing more than a t-shirt and their powerful kicks.

“Where on earth did you learn that?!” Panchito called out fretfully as he violently bashed his guitar over the shorter of the wolf duo. He hoped his paycheck would cover for a new one.

Their enemies were reduced to groaning heaps on the floor just as Scrooge, Donald, and Dewey came running in the room.

“Boys, you’re okay!” Donald exclaimed in relief.

“Wait,” Scrooge said, tone indicating that it was not time to celebrate yet. “Where’s Glomgold?”

Somewhere in the pile of the half-conscious bodies of their former coworkers, a radio screeched to life. “Hey, team. Wanted to thank you for keeping Scrooge and his kin busy while I escaped with the jewel and blow up Atlantis with my most hated rival inside. Glomgold out!”

There was a few moments of shared, horrified silence from everyone in the room. Panchito broke it with a gasp just as the first missile hit the city and shook the stone foundation. “Does this mean I won’t be getting paid?!”

~ ~ ~  
If there was one thing Donald had to say about Scrooge, he always had an escape plan ready. Everyone, including the mercenaries Glomgold hired, hurried to the submarine and huddled inside. Just in time as the ancient, underwater city collapsed before their very eyes.

“Now that’s all over with,” Scrooge began as he dusted off debris from his coat. An accusatory cane was pointed at Panchito and José. “What in the blazes are you two doing here?!”

An uneasy smile crossed Panchito’s face.What was the proper reaction to having your husband’s estranged uncle save you from certain death while he was also the one who brought you there in the first place? He nervously twisted the brim of his sombrero in his hands. “Hola, Señor McDuck. It’s-heh-been a while, hasn’t it?”

Four little ducks looked up at Scrooge with curiosity. “Wait, you know Uncle Panchito and Uncle José?” Questioned Dewey.

“Of course I know them! They were Donald’s old college- wait, uncles?!”

“They were hired by Glomgold, like me.” Donald interrupted and stepped forward. His arms made their way around José and Panchito’s shoulders. “They’re also my husbands.”

There were not many times Scrooge felt the need to be speechless, after all, he was Scrooge McDuck! No adventure nor monster caught him by surprise! But how in the world did he not learn something as important as his own nephew getting married? Eventually, the words he was searching for came tumbling out. “Since when did you get married?!”

“About nine years ago.” José added in an effort to be helpful.

Donald gave a nod of confirmation. “I just never told you.”

Scrooge had expected such an answer, but hadn’t expected it to sting so much. Nine years ago, they were nowhere near speaking terms with Della’s disappearance still being a fresh wound. The only knowledge he had of his nephew after the incident was that he was living in a houseboat by the dock in Duckburg and raising Della’s kids by himself, but it seemed that was not the case.

Scrooge turned his back to Donald and his friends (no, husbands) so they would not see his face twist into a hurtful expression.

He wasn’t even invited to the wedding.

  
~ ~ ~

  
The houseboat violently landed in the pool (courtesy of Launchpad!), soaking Donald, Panchito, and José with the chlorinated water.

“It was nice of Scrooge to offer his mansion to us.” Said José as he tried to wring the water out of his jacket. Secretly, José thought the houseboat blowing up was the best thing that ever happened to them if that meant staying in the world’s richest duck’s mansion for an indefinite amount of time. He couldn’t remember the last time he slept in an actual bed.

“And the boys are happy here.” Panchito added, glancing over at the mansion. They finally had a large space to run around and play like they never could on their tiny houseboat. Even from here, Panchito could hear their playful shrieks. A loving, reassuring hand landed on Donald’s waist. “They’re going to become great adventurers, just like you.”

That had earned a blush from the duck. “Scrooge will make sure they come home safe.” A rare, wry smile crossed Donald’s face. “Or he’s going to have to answer to us.”

José laughed. “I’m sure he knows that by now!” He knew this was much harder for Donald than he was letting on. For years he went to great lengths to keep the boys safe, and for Donald, one of those measures was keeping them away from Scrooge. Even now, there was still a long way to go before Donald could completely forgive his uncle. But letting him become a part of the boys’ lives was the first step.

“And who knows, perhaps your uncle’s travels will take them to Brazil!” José said with a gleam of hope in his eyes. “I always wanted the boys to see my home country!”

“Or Mexico!” Panchito chimed in. “My _mamá_ has been begging to see them in person!”

Donald’s smile grew wider. Those were all definitely possibilities now that he had reconnected with Scrooge. He not only gave his boys the opportunity to do something incredible, he also gave that to the two loves of his life. Maybe he won’t regret deciding to have Scrooge in his life again, every part of it this time. It would take some getting use to, not waking up to the taste of salt on the wind, the smell of chemicals assaulting his nose. But no matter what, they would always be together.

The three caballeros and the three caballeritos. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Beakley has to deal with three stubborn men/headaches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, over a 100 kudos! I didn't expect this story to get so popular over a short amount of time
> 
> I want to thank every person who left me kudos and comments! Its what keeps me writing! I hope all of you enjoy Chapter 2!

Bentina Beakley would describe herself as a robust woman. As a former secret agent, housekeeper to the infamous Scrooge McDuck, and grandmother to a restless girl, she was capable of dealing with whatever difficulties life threw her way. But this morning was proving to be the most challenging in her career, even when considering the whole secret agent business.

Beakley tried to make it work, she really did. After all, she was the one who suggested Scrooge try to connect more with his family. The house rules she meticulously created for them were extensive but simple to understand. It was not the children who had trouble with this. The triplets listened to her lecture as if eager to leave, and Webbigail already knew the house rules by heart. No, the nephew who opposed her the most was the oldest one.

“This is MY house, you answer to me!” Beakley said firmly to the other duck.

 “I answer to NO ONE!” Donald Duck shouted in her face. Beakley assumed that his anger came from a place of sudden removal of independence. But if Donald wished to not be subjected to house rules like a child, maybe he should stop acting like one.

One of his husbands came to his side. “Donald, _cálmese_ .” Panchito said, placing both hands on the duck’s shoulders. “ _Señora_ Beakley knows what is best for the house.”

Good, at least one of them were level-headed. But she wouldn’t let him get off so easily. “As for you, Mister Pistoles,” She began, knowing that attempting to pronounce his full name would be hopeless and time-consuming, “I have noticed that you have been making liberal use of the kitchen and its appliances during your stay here.” How could she not notice? The strong (though not unpleasant) smell of foreign spices and cooked meats wafted throughout the entire household at any given time of the day. This was not even mentioning the dirty pots and pans he left behind. “This contradicts Rule 89, which states that I cook all meals in the household so use of the kitchen is unnecessary. Do you understand?”

 Panchito nodded in a way that made Beakley know he did not. “Of course, you cook for Scrooge and your granddaughter and I cook for the boys.”

She sighed. Beakley should have known it would not be this easy. “You misunderstand me, Mister Pistoles. I cook **all** the meals in the house, including meals for the children.”

That ever-present grin on his face went tight when he finally understood what she meant. “But **I** cook for the boys.”

Beakley took a step closer to the rooster. “This is my house, my kitchen! I decide who does what in my kitchen!” 

Undaunted, Panchito leaned forward to meet her gaze. “And I decide who cooks what for my kids!”

From his spot at the table, Beakley saw José try to pacify his husbands. “Now Donald, Panchito, we are guests.” He began. Even from a distance, Beakley could see the parrot grit his teeth. “We are guests here in this beautiful **mansion**.”

Ah, so maybe his intentions were not the noblest. From the way Donald and Panchito’s eyes narrowed at José, Beakley could tell they did not only disregard what he had said, but took it as a challenge to spite both him and her.

 “Oh gross, are they going to kiss?” The green triplet, Louie, whispered not so quietly to the others.

 Donald, Panchito, and Beakley’s attention briefly focused on the children in the room. “Outside, NOW!”

 And even though it was not directed to José, Beakley watched as he hightailed it out of the room with the kids.

 

~ ~ ~

 

A few days ago, Beakley recalled her employer calling family, “nothing but trouble”. Bentina would have to disagree with such a statement. Family was difficult, yes, but a good family was also supportive, loving, and vital to one’s well being. She believed that she would not be half the woman she was today if it wasn’t for the people who raised her. That was why she kept pressuring Scrooge to reconnect with his lost family, but now she began to wonder if Scrooge’s words were about _his_ family and only his. If so, then Beakley had to agree with him one hundred percent.

 Donald was hellbent on finding loopholes in her house rules, even if it meant endangering himself. When he could not use the electricity from the mansion, he opted to buy several dozen generators instead. While it was amusing to watch him nearly electrocute himself, it just meant another mess for her to clean up. And his husband, Panchito was just as bad. Earlier today, she caught him trying to sneak into the kitchen. Why a bright-red rooster who wore an equally bright-red mariachi suit and giant sombrero thought he could accomplish a stealth mission in **her** house with any degree of success was a mystery to her. Perhaps bad ideas ran in the Duck family. Nevertheless, Beakley had caught him in the act several times today. Not even an hour later, she saw him walk to the houseboat with a towering pile of food and ingredients that stacked well over his head.

 “May I ask where you think you are going with all that?” She had questioned him, eye level with a packet of shredded cheese.

 “I understand I cannot use your kitchen,” Panchito had replied, voice muffled by what must have been several food items he had stuffed in his mouth to better carry everything. “But surely you and Scrooge will not miss a few things from the pantry here and there.” Beakley had to explain that, yes, Rule 89 extended to the pantry as well. She was sure this would only prompt Panchito to find more loopholes just as Donald did.

Scrooge was not going to help in any way, so getting him to mediate the situation was out of the question. The parrot, José was his name, he was not so bothersome. He seemed perfectly content to lie around all day and not cause her any trouble. And at the house meeting today, he was happy enough to follow her rules if it meant they would be able to live in the McDuck Mansion. Perhaps as the calmest and reasonable of the three, she could approach him on the matter of his husbands.  

Beakley found José napping in a sunchair placed in the front lawn, a spot he has taken to occupying for the past few days. The dapper suit he was wearing when he first came to the mansion was now replaced with a much more casual tee-shirt and jeans. His feet, crossed over his ankles, were in red sneakers. Strange, considering he was not wearing shoes when he arrived. One eye peeked open when her shadow blocked his sunlight.   

A lazy smile crosses his face as the other eye opens. “Ah, Miss Beakley, to what do I owe this pleasure?”

 Beakley let herself sigh, exasperatedly so. “Mister Carioca, I need your assistance.” She begins. “Could you possibly convince your husbands to follow my house rules so that I may work in peace?” Because Bentina knew that if this nonsense continued, it would ultimately lead to violence. From her.

During the whole course of their conversation, José had not moved a muscle save for the ones in his face. When she had finished her piece, the parrot simply nodded his head in response. “Of course, _señora_ , I will get on it right away.” Yet all he did was close his eyes and fold his hands behind his head. “Right after a short nap. I would not want to waste this perfect weather.”

Beakley feels her right eye twitch involuntarily once again. Guess that hoping even one of the trio would be slightly willing to make her life easier was asking for too much. Resigned, Beakley turned around back into the mansion to start on lunch. Hopefully this time, she will not find Panchito trying to enact another elaborate but ineffective way to cook in her house.

Not even five steps into the foyer, an ear-splitting “HELP!” rang throughout the manor. Beakley sighed (She has been doing a lot of that today) as the sound of webbed feet slapping against wooden floors came closer to her location.

 

~ ~ ~

 

One fight with the Beagle Boys later, Beakley was having second thoughts about Scrooge’s nephew. It happened later when Donald came running to her, saying that the triplets and Webbiagail were kidnapped by the Beagle Boys. When they arrived at Funzo’s (Donald had to explain what the purpose of that place even was on the way there), Beakley went in expecting she would have to spend the majority of the fight making sure Donald did not get badly hurt. But she was so wrong in the best possible way. She had watched, almost awe-struck, as Donald had taken on the biggest of the Beagle Boys with the fury of a demon from Hell. And the battlecry that truly convinced her that she was in the wrong? “GIVE ME BACK MY BOYS!”

 So in a way, the most important way in her opinion, Donald was very much like her. Hellbent on protecting their children. It was easy to forget that Donald had spent the last ten years or so raising three boys without any assistance from Scrooge or any of the Duck family, a fact that Beakley was ashamed to have forgotten so quickly. Though she would give herself a little credit, her first impression of Donald was not entirely wrong. Donald may be short-tempered and stubborn to the point of stupidity, but his negative qualities were eclipsed by his undying love for his nephews. And Beakley had to admit, that tenacity came in handy when he had to take on someone four times his size. Perhaps that is how he survived adventuring with Scrooge for so many years.

Just now, she had finished helping Donald setup the electrical circuits for his houseboat. She went back into the house afterwards, planning to finish her duties after a nice, strong cup of tea.

“ _Señora_ Beakley?” A voice from behind her said. Turning around, Beakley saw that it was, (unsurprisingly) Panchito. The sombrero he always wore was now in his hands. He looked up at her towering form sheepishly. “I had a talk with José,” Oh, so the parrot did actually listen to her request. “And I wish to apologize for my behavior.” 

He continued. Beakley blinked. Today was still filled with surprises. “On the houseboat, I would cook for the boys but I rarely got the chance to cook the meals I always wanted to make for them. Meals like my mother would make for me when I was young.” The look on his face became wistful as he no doubt was remembering those foods and the memories surrounding them from his childhood. She saw it slowly change to somberness. Sadness was unbecoming of Panchito, Beakley thought to herself. “But we never had the time, equipment, or ingredients to make such meals.”

 The smile returned to his face. “But when we moved here, suddenly, I had to chance to do just that. Tamales, mole, chilaquiles, even flan!” His voice became more enthusiastic with every food he listed off. “So I got a little… carried away. But I understand wanting to keep others out of your kitchen. The kitchen was my domain in the house too.” Panchito finished with a small grin. “So rest assured, _Señora_ Beakley, you will no longer have to worry about me breaking into your kitchen.”

Perhaps Panchito’s reasons were not as selfish as they seemed, Beakley thought. Much like his spouse, most of his actions revolved around the boys’ wellbeing. Beakley could certainly appreciate that.

With her mind made up, she spoke. “Panchito, you may use the kitchen whenever you want.” Beakley said. When Panchito’s head perked up, she held out a hand before he could say anything. “So long as you ask permission first and you clean whatever mess you make.” 

Her words have an immediate effect on the rooster. A broad smile, broad enough that it looked slightly painful, appeared. Before she could prepare herself, Panchito grabbed her hand and shook it vigorously.

“ _Gracias, gracias, Señora_ Beakley! Your kitchen is in good hands!” Panchito thanked her profusely. “You won't see a hair out of place! I'll clean all the dishes-No, I'll clean the whole kitchen! It will be spotless when I am done with it!”

“Y-You’re quite welcome.” Beakley replied, cradling her injured hand. Panchito made a beeline for the kitchen. His head poked out from the kitchen doorway. “Oh, and I will be glad to make food for you and Webby as well!”.

“Perhaps I will take you up on your offer. Webbigail loves trying new things.” Beakley said with a small smile. Panchito smiled back to her before disappearing into the kitchen again. Beakley listened to the rhythmic sounds of clanging pots and pans. She just hoped she wouldn’t come to regret her decision.

 

~~

 

Later that day, the kitchen caught fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The outfit José is wearing for the outside scene is what he usually wears in his comics
> 
> Once again, credit to bamboozledeage for being my beta again. Find them by the same username on Tumblr and AO3
> 
> Feel free to ask questions or leave comments about the story here at my Tumblr: https://dibella-goddess-of-beauty.tumblr.com/


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which José and Panchito meet Donald’s old “friend”

At some point, they knew they would join the boys for an adventure. 

It was inevitable, really. It stemmed from both the desire to make sure their boys were safe and from their own yearning for adventure. Ever since college, José and Panchito were fascinated by Donald’s tales of his adventures with Scrooge and his sister. They had fantasized about tagging along during one of those adventures some day. The rare times Donald would go on an adventure with the boys and Scrooge, he would urge his husbands to stay in Duckburg saying that too many people on a mission would be dangerous. He promised that one day, they would all go on an adventure together as a family. And today, that day had finally arrived.

One, bright morning, Donald approached them in the mansion and casually asked if they wanted to join him, Scrooge, and the boys on a impromptu adventure. He said this in a nonchalant way, as if he was merely inviting them to come to the store with him and not giving them the chance of a lifetime. Needless to say, José and Panchito said yes in a heartbeat and all but ran onto the plane sitting idly in McDuck’s front lawn.

Of course, they managed to choose to go on the one adventure where every possible thing that could go wrong went wrong.

José was remarkably calm, his instinct as a flight attendant overriding his body’s natural urge to panic. He spoke calmly into the plane’s microphone, hand and upper body still despite the plane’s violent shaking. “Will all passengers please fasten their seatbelts and stay seated until the captain turns off the seatbelt sign.” This was said despite the fact that everyone was standing and Launchpad did not have a safety feature such as a seatbelt sign on his plane.

With his announcement done, José carefully placed the microphone back on its hook. This proved to be a useless action as it fell from its hook and cracked on the floor mere seconds later. But José ignored this and instead walked over to Panchito. He clung to him, surely ripping out a few feathers as he did, and screamed.

Panchito patiently let José scream his fears away, holding the parrot close to him as he looked around the plane for the exits. Briefly, his attention was caught by Donald who was in total Disaster-Preparation. What especially caught his interest was the parachute the duck was wearing. He knew that Donald had brought his own supplies, but Panchito knew a plane like this was bound to have the object of his search.

Parachutes.

Was the situation at hand terrifying and could very well end in tragedy? Absolutely, which was why Panchito felt slightly guilty for the buzz of excitement he was currently getting. If the lightning caused the plane to go into failure, that would mean everyone would have to jump out of the plane with the aid of a parachute. He would make sure the kids were safe and prepared to go first, of course, but the possibility of getting to live out his wildest fantasy made him (somewhat) rational in the face of adversity.

He knew all those skydiving lessons were not a waste of money!

“Launchpad, where are the parachutes?” Panchito yelled over all the chaos.

The pilot turned around in his chair, visibly confused by the question. “We have parachutes?” Launchpad asked, not noticing how the rooster’s face went slack with horror.

This was when Panchito panicked.

Clinging onto José as well, he joined the choir of screaming.

They were all too busy freaking out to notice Dewey messing with the plane controls.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Considering how they could have landed in the middle of the ocean or a freezing-cold mountain with nothing but the hope that help would arrive before they would have to resort to cannibalistic measures for survival (Launchpad would be sacrificed first), a beautiful beach on an island in Greece was not the worst place to crash on.

Ithaquack, Scrooge had called it. The children had ran out of the aircraft to explore the mythical island, ignoring their uncles’ pleas to stay on board. And when Panchito and José stepped outside as well, they could hardly blame them. The white sand beneath their feet was pleasantly warm and a cool breeze was picking up. In the distance there were several ancient-looking buildings just begging to be explored. When they edged closer the ocean, they could see to the very bottom of it with colorful fish swimming about. In short, it was paradise.

The only people eager to leave were Donald and Scrooge. “We have to get back to the plane.” Donald had insisted, carrying Huey and Louie under his arms.

José, interrupted from scouting out the perfect place to sunbathe, looked over at Donald incredulously. “And why is that?” He thought any sane person would try to avoid any aircraft flown by their pilot for as long as possible.

Donald opened his beak to elaborate, only to be tackled to the ground by a muscular blur.

“Donald!” José and Panchito yelped in unison. The muscular blur turned out to be an equally-muscular, toga-wearing stranger who was currently holding their husband closely and intimately to his chest. They watched, a bit helplessly, as the stranger carried Donald and threw him into the air with ease, laughing the entire time.

Sunlight glistened off of the stranger’s blonde hair, making it look as if it was pure gold. “Oh glorious day! May the Faiths sing of your return, Friend Donald! Sailor of the Seven Seas!” His voice was joyful and had an almost sing-song quality to it. And befitting of his stature, it was very loud.

Donald, head placed between a pair of firm pecs, simply sighed. “Hiya, buddy.”

When Donald was released from the confines of the man’s beefy chest, Panchito and José helped him up. José’s grip was tight on his shoulder. “Oh Donald, who is this?” He asked, voice slightly strained.

Donald sighed. “ Guys, this is Storkcules. He’s a… friendly acquaintance.”

The man turned around after aquatinting himself with the boys, having picked them up as well a bit in a more gentler matter. He gave his full attention to the two men he did not recognize, his figure casting a large shadow over José and Panchito. “Thy wit be quick as ever, Friend Donald! Tell me, who be these brightly-colored men? Fellow travellers?”

Donald tiredly gestured to the rooster and parrot, having an expression on his face that could only be described as ‘Done’. “Storkcules, this is Panchito and José,” He paused briefly, wondering if saying the next part would be wise. “My….husbands.”

An over dramatic gasp escaped Storkcules’ beak. Next thing Panchito and José knew, their bodies were lifted off the ground and crushed against the same place their husband was not so long ago. On the sidelines, Louie leaned over to his brother and whispered into his ear, “Finally, Uncle Panchito knows how we feel when he hugs us.”

“By Achilles’ heel, fortune has truly smiled upon this day! Not only have I met Heroic Donald’s kin, but his twin flames as well!” Storkcules’ beaming smile and pearly-white teeth blinded them. “It is with great pleasure that I finally get to meet you, Spouses of Donald! I can think of no greater honor than to live and die with him!”

“Oh believe me, we really thought we would be doing the dying part with him today.” José deadpanned, Donald rolling his eyes at the comment.

Mercifully, Storkcules dropped them in the sand after this. José and Panchito took big, greedy gulps of air and cradled their sore ribs. “Surely Friend Donald has told you of his triumphs with his **best** friend, Storkcules!”

“Oh no, Donald never thought to tell us about how he made friends with a hero of legends even though we always ask him to tell us stories about all of his daring adventures!” As Panchito said this, his gaze slowly traveled over to the duck mentioned. Donald only gave a shrug in response to Panchito’s glare. “It must have slipped his mind!”  

José wasn’t going to let his husband get off easily either. “Back when you told us your uncle was taking you to Greece for Spring Break, is **this** where you went?”

Scrooge stepped out of the plane, paying no heed to Storkcules. He looked frantic. “Donald, get the boys on board! We can’t let **him** know we’re here!”

“Can’t let who know we’re here?” Louie asked.

No sooner than the words left Louie’s mouth, the sky turned ominously gray. Greats strikes of lightning were accompanied by cracks of thunder that deafen their ears and shook the very earth. The sudden change of weather was dull in comparison to the figure who slowly descended on a thundercloud of his own. His fist clenched a bolt of lighting as his eyes focused on the figures below him.

“Scrooge McDuck!” He bellowed.

Scrooge looked up towards the sky, sighing as if he was faced with a minor inconvenience rather than a life-threatening situation.

“Zeus.”

 

~ ~ ~

 

Being the richest duck in the world and a well-known adventurer, they all knew Scrooge was bound to make a few enemies across the years. But they had also thought Scrooge was smart enough to know who not to make enemies with. Today had shown that one should never give Scrooge McDuck the benefit of the doubt. 

Through a series of lovely-painted vases, Huey, Louie, Panchito, and José learned of how the trillionaire came to anger Zeus, the God of the Gods. To give him some credit, this happened due to Scrooge just being himself which meant being good at everything. This, along with Zeus’ temper tantrums, caused all the inhabitants of the island to leave. 

José, leg crossed over the other and head resting in his hands, turned his attention towards Scrooge once Zeus’ rant was over. “So, is this a regular thing for you? Angering powerful and immortal beings?”

“You act as if I wanted this to happen!” Scrooge exclaimed with a wild gesture of his arms. “It’s not my fault that I was better than him at everything!”

Storkcules stood from his place on the fallen marble pillar they were using as a bench, picking up Donald as he does. “But now that you have returned; Storkcules, noble Donald, and his fiery sister-Halt, where is Della?”

Della’s name hung heavily in the air. No reply came from Donald, only a mournful look and a glance towards Huey and Louie, the last bit of Della he had left. Storkcules glanced over to the duck’s husbands, a similar, somber appearance overtaking their features.

“Della is… not with us anymore.” Panchito answered, uncharacteristically quiet.

“I see,” The demigod’s booming voice went just as quiet. However, that sadness was soon gone as he hoisted Donald up higher into the air. “Then we shall embark on a rousing adventure to honor our fallen compatriot!”

“I don’t adventure anymore.” Was Donald’s prompt reply.   

“What?! But adventure is the very blood in your veins!” This reply did not deter Storkcules however. “Well, we must at least hold a feast to celebrate your return!”

Huey and Dewey cheered, obviously all in favor for a feast. José’s interest was piqued at the possibility of free food.

“You know, there weren’t many snacks to hand out on board during the flight.” José carefully said to Donald to warm him up to the idea. “And it was a very long flight.” 

“Ugh, fine” Zeus reluctantly agreed.

Storkcules and the boys cheered, “Beach party!”

 

~ ~ ~

 

The beach party had been going so well. Sure, it wasn’t what they all had expected considering how a god was hosting it. But still, it had food, drinks, and music which is all anybody can really ask for at a party. José was making the most of it by sitting in the sand as he leaned against the marble pillar, occasionally stealing a grape from Louie’s vine.

He half-listened to Strokcules as he excitedly chatted away to his husbands. “You must regale me with the tale of how your holy matrimony with Donald came to be!” He asked Panchito. Donald sat on the other side of Storkcules, body slumped over and visibly pouting. “How did your paths come to cross? Were you comrades in a war which would decide the very faith of our world? Rivals-turned-lovers in an epic championship to the death? Companions on a dangerous journey to depths and heights unknown?” His voice went up in pitch with each guess.

“Well, something like that-” Panchito started sheepishly the same time as Donald plainly said “College.”

Panchito gave the duck a dirty look. “Well when you say it like that, it doesn’t sound exciting at all!”

Then, of course, Scrooge managed to offend Zeus again.

This lead to the god challenging the family to a contest. “Heroic trials” he called them, but if Zeus was not being disingenuous, they could be called schoolyard games with a ancient Greek twist to them. Though Scrooge and Donald had came to the unanimous decision that an over glorified School Field Day was an absolute waste of their time, they all had no choice but to participate when Zeus created an impenetrable dome of lightning until the games were over with. 

Even though Zeus was the one who suggested the contest in the first place, he did not participate in any of the games he set out for them. In his place was Storkcules to represent him while Donald, Huey, and Louie played to represent Scrooge. One would think that facing such challenges with a demigod as your rival would be unfair, rigged even, but this was not the case. Every round, the boys managed to find a way to beat Storkcules whether by using their wits or just by pure luck. And if the boys didn’t win a game, Donald did with the unstoppable power known as apathy.

They watched from the sidelines with Scrooge and Zeus, Scrooge looking increasingly amused with every round his nephews won and Zeus getting more agitated with every round his son lost. Panchito clapped when Huey and Louie won the last match, only to lower his hands when Zeus glowered his way. He scooted closer to José.

“Looks like the boys are having fun.” José said in an effort to ease the tension. Indeed, Huey and Louie were the only ones excited to be in this situation. Right now, they were laughing and giving each other high-fives after winning another round for Team Scrooge. José smiled fondly at the sight. 

“Not to mention how handsome Donald looks in a toga.” Panchito added. Seeing the duck out of his regular sailor uniform was always a rare treat for his husbands.

They did not get to enjoy Donald’s figure for long. Enraged by his latest loss, Zeus rose from the marble steps. “Enough!”

He stormed to the middle of the arena. “Now comes the ultimate challenge. Steal the gold fleece-” The god stepped aside to unveil a tiny, toga-cladded girl clutching the aforementioned fleece who seemingly appeared out of thin air. “From this small child.”

As Storkcules fretted over the moral implications of stealing from a little girl, José and Panchito noticed how Donald began walking away. Fair enough, as the final game itself did not seem very exciting but the duck was walking in the direction of the plane. They followed him.

“Donald, where do you think you’re going? The game isn’t over yet.” José asked once they got within hearing distance of him.

The duck did not bother to turn around when he replied with a final and impassive, “I’m done.” Taking his husbands’ silence for confusion, he continued. “I’m done with these games, with Zeus, this island, this adventure, and I’m especially done with Storkcules.” 

As if summoned by saying his name out loud, Storkcules came running in their direction.

“Companion Donald, where are you going?” Storkcules asked, unknowingly repeating the same question José asked moments earlier.

Donald sucked in a deep breath, employing what little patience he had left before speaking. “Look, you’re a nice guy but-”

“The most nice guy!” Storkcules needlessly corrected. “For I am Storkcules! Pure of-”

“No, no, no! I’m through with adventure! Someone always gets hurt!”

Storkcules looked down at Donald, baffled by his statement. It was not something the Donald he knew would ever say.

“But getting hurt is part of the adventure!” Storkcules explained gently as if saying it slowly would help the sailor remember the thrill of adventuring. “What would Fierce Della say if she could hear you now?”

“Well she can’t!” For a brief moment, Donald stunned himself into silence. Rarely did the fact that Della was gone and he would never see her again truly dawn on him. But when it did, all it left him with was numb grief. He sighed. “Someone always gets hurt.”

Saying his piece, Donald started to walk away again. 

The three men watched as their soulmate left them behind. Panchito laid a consoling hand on Storkcules’ arm. He knew very well about how in his grief, Donald could hurt others.

“We’ll go talk to him.” He promised. He tugged on José’s wrist so they could follow the duck.

 

~ ~ ~

 

It did not take long to match Donald’s pace, but the duck did not make it easy for them. He was truly determined to be left alone to wallow in his grief and anger. 

Panchito met Donald’s stride. “I thought reconnecting with Scrooge meant the boys could go on adventures with him like how you and Della did when you were younger! Don’t you miss those days?!”

Donald stopped his march. “Adventure is what got us into this whole mess!” He gestured to the barrier keeping them on the island, to the crashed airplane. “Adventure is what took Della away from me!” With that, the last bit of anger he had left escaped him. The duck’s shoulders slumped forward in exhaustion, everything about him screamed defeat.

“Just-I just want to go home. Forget any of this happened.” Donald said quietly, reaching for the barrier.

“Donald, I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” José cautioned, knowing it would go unheeded. And right he was, for Donald collapsed in the sand after the god-made barrier shocked him several times in the span of a few seconds. José sighed and bent over to help his husband up.

Only to drop him when a gut-wrenching “Somebody help us!” tore through the air.

“Boys?!” They cried in unison. The sand billowed under their feet as they ran back to their kids.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Donald was the first to arrive, where the unthinkable was happening. Storkcules had turned against their family, cornering them against the cliff as Zeus watched. His fist was raised high, ready to strike.

“Hey you big palooka!” Donald called out, distracting Storkcules. The man turned around, revealing his now bright, glowing eyes. Something had happened while he was gone, something that had changed Storkcules completely.

The duck’s previously slumped shoulders went taut with adrenaline. He adjusted his hat. “Nobody gets hurt today.”

He charged.

Storkcules’ blows were powerful, but Donald was quick. Sand flew into his eyes as Storkcules missed once again. Possessed or not, he wasn’t going to go easy on him for trying to lay a hand on his kids.

“When I get my hands on you, I’ll-” This devolved into angry gibberish before Donald could finish. The duck flung himself at the demigod, crawling over his body and delivering blow after blow like some deranged, oversized spider. Considering everything, especially the fact that his opponent was a demigod known for his superhuman power, Donald was doing pretty well.

But Donald did not have the same brute strength as Storkcules. His part of the fight was as good as over once the demigod grabbed hold of his arms, effectively immobilizing him. 

Storkcules pinned Donald’s arms against his body. “Know that I regret this most bitterly”

A flying kick to the head managed to stun Storkcules for a few moments, but his grip on Donald did not loosen. Seeing his attempt fail, Panchito flailed every limb in Storkcules’ direction, going more for quantity than quality.

“Let go of my husband, you _bruto_!”

José and Scrooge were quick to join the fray as well. Scrooge went for the head, placing his cane in Storkcules’ beak like a muzzle. José struck at his feet with his umbrella, managing to get Storkcules to stumble slightly. It was four against one, but they knew they couldn’t win this with strength alone. They needed a solution and fast.

The parrot looked around frantically, trying to find something to stop the raging demigod. His eyes soon landed on the small child Zeus introduced earlier, who was now creepily singing and had the same, glowing eyes as Storkcules did. In all this chaos, José did not even hear the song that was now being sung at deafening levels. It did not take long for him to conclude that she was the cause of this.

His eyes caught Huey and Louie’s. “Boys, you need to stop the singing!”

Huey and Louie nodded, running over to the little girl. It went to show how much they’ve learned from Scrooge in the short time span of adventuring with him, because the singing soon stopped.

In his last moments of possession, Storkcules flung everyone off his body. Only Donald remained in his grasp. Storkcules, after realizing what had happened, held his friend high in the air.

“Donald, you have saved me! Come here!” Storkcules proceeded to hold Donald close to his chest as he rolled in the sand gleefully.

“Ahem.” A voice interrupted midroll. Looking up, Storkcules witnessed the irritated glares of Panchito and José.

“Oh, um-” Storkcules said eloquently. He got back up and carefully placed Donald on the ground. Once the duck’s feet hit the sand, José and Panchito enveloped their husband in a three-way hug.

They had won. Almost.

 

~ ~ ~

 

José and Panchito remembered a class they had to take back in college called Ancient Mythology. The professor had taken a particular interest in teaching them about the pantheon of Greek gods, even though their class was suppose to teach them about myths from all across the world. One particular bit they remember their professor saying about them was that the Greek gods were unique in the sense that they acted just like the mortals they ruled over, prone to making the same mistakes and judgements as them. Basically they were just like us, he had said.

Panchito and José now looked back on that, thinking that truer words have never been said as they watched Zeus do a victory dance over his “triumph” over Scrooge.

Hey, at least it got that lightning barrier down.

The three caballeros stood by the sidelines as this happened. Panchito playfully punched Donald on the shoulder. “I still can’t believe you never told us about that you made friends with a Greek god.”

Donald faced Panchito, an amused grin still on his face from seeing how done his uncle was from dealing with Zeus. “Would you be surprised if I told you that hasn’t been the weirdest thing that happened to me when adventuring with Scrooge?”

Storkcules came over to them, a thoughtful look on his face as he spoke to Donald. “You may think you’re done with adventure, but it will never be done with you.” His easy-going smile turned cocky as his finger playfully prodded Donald’s chest. “You’re a hero, whether you want to be or not." 

Donald smiled. Though he was single-minded and much too cheery for his tastes, he knew that Storkcules was a good guy. He was glad to have met him. “I forgot, but thanks… Friend Storkcules.”

Storkcules gasped in pure shock and elation. “He called me his friend! He said it back!” Ecstatically, Storkcules swept Donald into another bone-crushing hug. “This is the most glorious day of my life!” He proclaimed, utterly sincere in the statement.

José and Panchito snickered as they watched Donald struggle in Storkcules’ hold. Panic quickly set in though when his attention turned to them. 

“Don’t think I forgot about you, Spouses of Donald!” 

Storkcules’ giant arm swept them up to his chest, squeezing the life out of them once again. Panchito and José went limp, knowing at this point that it was best for them (and their ribs) to not struggle. 

They were all mercifully released from the deathgrip when the ferocious thunderclouds from earlier returned, somehow looking scarier than before.

“SCROOGE!” Zeus howled.

They all hightailed it out of the arena, not staying long enough to see what Scrooge did to incur the wrath of Zeus again. The plane was waiting for them at the edge of the beach, Launchpad proudly announcing that he “fixed” it. 

Panchito looked behind him to the increasingly stormy skies and dangerously-close bolts of lightning and wondered if dealing with the wrath of a God would be safer than flying with Launchpad again. He turned his head to see if José was having similar thoughts. 

And evidently he was, for José had his hands clenched tight together in prayer and muttering feverishly under his breath as they boarded the plane. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ironically enough, I wrote this chapter while in Greece. I’m studying abroad here for a few months. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed and I’ll see you in the next chapter!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the author caves into popular demand (AKA, the Three Caballeros get the wedding they deserve)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the slow updates! I really wanted to make this chapter special, but I also didn't want to make you guys wait too long, so I decided to make this chapter a two-parter!
> 
> Want to give a huge shout out to my beta, Bamboozledeagle, who I've been pestering for help since I started writing this mess! Go check them out on AO3 and Tumblr, their DuckTales stories are so good!

_Bang, bang, bang_

The steady rhythm of a hammer hitting the head of a nail rang through the backyard of the McDuck Mansion. Or, more specifically, the pool in the McDuck Mansion backyard. Donald Duck, reluctant resident of McDuck Manor, had his brow furrowed in concentration as he hammered out a beat with calloused hands.

In his mouth were nails hazardly hanging from the corner. The duck opened his beak slightly to grab the next nail, only for all of them to fall to the floor with a soft _clang_. One adventurous nail rolled away from the rest. Donald reached forward to grab it before it rolled beyond his reach, only for his hand pulled back when he saw the nail stop at a pair of splat-cladded feet. The owner of the splats reached down and picked it up.

“Need a hand?” Asked Scrooge, handing the nail back to his nephew.

Donald looked dumbly at the nail, then to Scrooge, then back to the nail. This must have been the first time he saw Scrooge on his houseboat. For that reason alone, Donald knew that his uncle was not here to merely help with repairs. No, oddly enough, he probably just came here to talk. It would have been easy enough to get him off his boat by simply saying he already had everything under control, but Donald did no such thing. Instead, he turned back to the floorboard he was hammering and lined up the next nail.

“Can you get me a level from my toolbox? It’s over there.” Donald pointed to the rusty, red toolbox over by the entrance of the boat.

From the corner of his eye, Donald saw how Scrooge’s body relaxed with his indirect permission to stay. An action small enough to miss if the duck hadn’t spent years of his life with his uncle. Scrooge came back with the level moments later, handing it to Donald then stepping back to give him room. Donald muttered a “thank you” and got down on his stomach. Hopefully, the floorboard had not warped after all the abuse his poor boat endured.

Scrooge stood by the railing as Donald worked, eyeing the extensive damage. “Fine vessel you got here.” Scrooge said, Donald knowing that he was trying his hardest to compliment the half-ruined boat.

“It’s a roof over my head.” Donald answered nonchalantly. He learned from an early age not to get too attached to one place for long.

He got up, pleased to find the floorboard even to the rest. He tried to gather the wayward nails that fell earlier, slightly taken aback when Scrooge bent down to help with the search. His beloved cane was placed against the rails, the furthest Donald ever saw it away from Scrooge voluntarily. With the help, all the nails were found and in the duck’s hand in a matter of seconds. Donald did not say anything, but gave Scrooge a small smile and hoped it conveyed his thanks well enough. Based on the smile Scrooge returned, it did.

“Must’ve been hard raising three boys on a boat though.” Scrooge said as he grabbed his cane again. The old duck had recalled his own troubles raising two little trouble-makers. Three of them might have been the death of him, even with all his money. Yet Donald did it, most likely with multiple minimum wage jobs just to get by.

Donald scooted over to the next board that needed to be nailed down. “Panchito and José helped out a lot.”

Scrooge’s body went stiff, closed-off. “Ah yes, your husbands.” He still had trouble remembering the fact that the young men who use to raise hell in his garage were now his nephew-in-laws. “I never took them as the settling down type, but people have a way of surprising you.”

“Me neither, but I couldn’t have raised the boys without them.” Donald admitted.

José and Panchito were restless souls, never wanting to stay in one place for too long. But still, they stayed and their determination in giving the triplets the best childhood possible were evident. It was the soft moments that made Donald grateful that he could have two amazing men by his and his nephews’ side. Moments like when Panchito taught the boys to lasso with a rope, or when José would insist on a hug from each triplet before leaving for every flight. They weren’t perfect, but life was happier and brighter with them in it.  

Scrooge hummed thoughtfully. Memories of the two, energetic birds sprang to mind. “Remember when that racoon found its way into my garage?” He recalled. “José was terrified of it, and you and Panchito kept trying to shoo it away with your guitars.”

It had taken Scrooge forever to realize all that racket was not just the boys practicing. He had kicked open the door, only to find José had climbed on top of one of his many artifacts while Donald and Panchito chased the critter. It was an odd thing to remember, one of those memories that he had no clue how it stayed in his head for so long. Based on how Donald looked up at him, he was just as surprised as him that he remembered.

But Donald’s beak broke into a smile. “Yeah, I remember. José never saw one until he came to Duckburg.” A chuckle escaped his beak. “He kept calling it a garbage cat.”

Both men erupted into laughter. The previous tensions and grudges were momentarily put on pause as laughs filled the air with warmth and life. All of their conversations before this moment had been formal and brief, but the story broke the ice between them. It had been too long since they shared a moment like this together.

Their laughter slowly died down, leaving a fond smile on Donald’s beak. He looked up, expecting to see a similar expression on his uncle’s face. But when his eyes met Scrooge’s, the old duck was looking down at the floor.

“You three must’ve had a lovely wedding.” Scrooge said, regret filling his voice. “I wished I could’ve been there.”

Now it was Donald’s turn to look down at the floor. He knew Scrooge well enough to know that he did not say that to guilt-trip him. No, he truly did regret how their distance resulted in him missing out on some of the most important moments of his great-nephew’s life. Why did Donald have the urge to reassure his Uncle? He had a feeling that the truth was going to hurt more.

“It’s not like you missed anything.” Donald said, rubbing the back of his neck. His eyes remained fixated on a wood knot in the floor. “We-We didn’t have a wedding.”

The effect his words had on Scrooge were instantaneous. The old duck’s head shot up, the cane in his hand went slack in his grip. Only one word came from his mouth, but it was enough to make Donald feel as though he were punched in the gut.

“Why?”

Donald sighed and put down his hammer. He wouldn’t be getting much work done after today, not with this conversation weighing on his mind. We did it so if anything were to happen to me, Panchito and José would have custody over the boys.”

Their proposal, if one could even call it that, was a joke, a off-handed comment about how they could reap tax benefits if they got married. But the facetious suggestion soon turned into a serious discussion and a few days later, the three men made their way down to City Hall, filled out some paperwork, and just like that they were married. No relatives or friends invited, no fancy suits, no cake, no rings, and certainly no Honeymoon. The cold, efficient truth was that marriage offered them benefits and skipping a costly wedding ceremony saved them money for more important things. Important things like food, clothes, and college funds for the boys and all three men would gladly sacrifice anything for their nephews.

Donald risked another glance up at Scrooge and immediately regretted it. There was an expression so unfamiliar on his face that it took Donald a hot minute to identify it.

Pity.

“You… didn’t do anything then?” He finally said after a long stretch of silence. “Just signed some papers in a dinghy building?” The fact that there was no judgement in his voice, only genuine confusion, made it hurt even more.

Donald let his body slouch forward. Panchito and José had swore up and down, time and time again that they were perfectly happy with their “wedding”, saying that the only thing that mattered was that they could all stay together. But sometimes when he felt especially low, Donald would look back and think what if things could have been a little different. His partners deserved to have been surrounded by family and friends on what should have been the happiest day of their life. They deserved more than some flimsy piece of paper telling them that the government now recognized them as legally wed.

The sailor squeezed his eyes shut, as if the thought of it alone caused him physical pain.

“Yeah.”

 

~ ~ ~

 

Unbeknownst to Donald or Scrooge, there was someone else listening in on their conversation.

Webby hadn’t meant to eavesdrop. She was just playing a game of Ninja Tree Hopping by herself, her triplet friends not yet having the skill of jumping to treetop to treetop. Her game had lead her to the pool area where she happened to hear talking down below.

She heard what sounded like Scrooge trying to reconcile with Donald, laughter, and a heartbreaking confession. Webby was stunned. Huey, Dewey, and Louie’s supercool uncles never had a wedding?! So it was there and then, balancing on a tree branch, that Webby came up with a brilliant idea.

She had to tell Huey, Dewey, and Louie.

The most convenient way to find them would be through the vents. And luckily for Webbigail, she knew the vents of the mansion like the back of her hand. She shimmed her way through one located in the backyard. She would stop at every turn to listen to her surroundings. After all, they could be anywhere!

Based on the laughter and noise she heard, Webby was able to determine that they were in the Home Theater. She crawled her way there and with a unnecessary kick, rolled into the room.

All boys had their eyes glued to the screen, watching whatever drivel passed on cable nowadays. So enraptured by what looked to be a new episode of Ottoman Empire, it took the deafening noise of the metal grate crashing against the floor to pull them out of their trance.

Huey had the biggest reaction, jolting about a foot into the air upon her entrance. “Gah! I’m begging you, use the door next time!”

Webby ignored her friends’ startelement in favor of the more pressing issue at hand. “Guys, I just heard the saddest thing today!”

“The puppy orphanage burned down?!”

“Duckburg banned Pep?!”

“Ms. Beakley enrolled you in public school?!”

“Worse!” Webby proclaimed. The boys crowded around her, their interests peaked. What could be worse than orphaned puppies, banned soda, and the public school system?

“Your uncles-”

A sharp gasp went through the boys. What happened to their uncles?!

“-never had a wedding!”

The breaths they were holding were let go but replaced with confusion. All three boys simultaneously titled their heads.

“Isn’t a wedding, like, a requirement to get married?” Dewey asked.

“I guess not.” Huey answered. A hand went to his beak. “Come to think of it, I’ve never seen any wedding photos of Uncle Donald, Panchito, and José.”

“Soooo I’ve been thinking, what if we throw them a wedding?” After a beat, Webby started doing jazz hands. “A surprise wedding!”

The boys scrunched their faces up at the suggestion. “I don’t know,” Louie said, “how are we going to throw a wedding?”

“Come on, we’ve traveled the globe, faced monsters, and narrowly escaped our untimely deaths! We can figure out how to throw a wedding!” Webby said with determination.

Well, that much was true, the triplets thought. Their uncles deserved something nice after years of dedication to them. It did not take long for the triplets to agree to Webby’s plan.

 

~ ~ ~

 

A heavy book made a loud _thud_ when it hit the floor of the boys’ room. Webby stood over it proudly as the triplets sat around the book in a loose circle.

“Alright, I found my wedding planner!” She proclaimed.

Dewey pushed himself forward slightly to look down at it. The wedding planner in front of him was white and leather-bounded with loose photos and papers sticking out from the edges. In a fancy font written in gold ink were the words _Scrooge McDuck’s Wedding_ on the cover. Dewey did a double take at the title.

“You planned Uncle Scrooge’s wedding?” Did their elderly uncle ever even consider marriage?

“I made a wedding planner just in case Scrooge ever wanted to get married.” Webby replied, clearly expecting such a question. “But don’t worry! I planned it so that the wedding and the reception would be inexpensive but tasteful, which makes it perfect for a surprise wedding!”

Webby got on her knees and flipped through the first few pages. Huey and Louie got closer as she pointed out and went into detail about the various things needed for the wedding. Occasionally, she would stop on one page and ask them if there was anything she would need to change to better suit their uncles’ tastes. What type of music should be played at the reception (Latin American was the obvious choice), what flowers would be in the decor (White roses, dahlias, and cattleyas), and what food should be served (A blend of food from all three’s home countries served buffet style) was covered and more. This went off with surprisingly little disagreements.

“So for the cake, I was going for red velvet with cream cheese frosting-”

“Why red velvet?” Louie asked. In his professional opinion, nothing could beat classic chocolate.

“Because red velvet is classy!” Webby exclaimed as if Louie had just asked her if the sky was blue. She flipped to the next page, bouncing on her knees in excitement when she saw what was on it. “Oh! I almost forgot about this part!”

She tilted the book so all triplets could see what was on the page. A young duck wearing a fancy suit carried a white pillow with two rings tied to it. Though the boys did not have much experience with weddings, they know who this duck was suppose to be and his role in weddings.

Webby excitedly pointed in the trio’s direction. “One of you guys have to be the ring bearer!” She did not wait for a response, closing the book with a _thump_ and gathering it up in her arms.

“You guys decide who’s going to be the ringbearer, I’m going to start on the guest list.” A shiver of excitement raced through her body. “I have to go make the invitations too! I’m going to use So. Much. Glitter.”

With that Webby ran off, mind filled with thoughts of lists and glitter. This left the three boys with a monumental decision to make.

Huey broke the silence, standing up as he did. “I guess I’ll do it. I still need to earn my Junior Woodchuck Ring Bearer badge after all.”

Dewey rose with a jump. “No way, dude! Why do you get to hog all the attention?” He proudly gestured to himself. “I’ll do it!”

“Nu-uh, I wanna do it.” Louie interjected. When his brothers looked at him quizzically, he simply shrugged. “What? I’ll look good in that suit.”

An argument broke out. Just before it turned physical, Dewey put himself between Huey and Louie. His hands were still on their chests when he spoke.

“Gentlemen, I propose a wager!” He proclaimed. “A ring bearer's responsibility is the ring, right? So, whoever gets the correct ring measurement first gets to be the ring bearer!”

This made perfect sense to the ducklings. Even so, Louie still had to barter.

“You mean we have to get all of their measurements? Come on, dude, that’s too much!”

Dewey sighed. “Fine, whoever can get at least one uncle’s ring measurement first can be the ring bearer.”

With that settled, the boys split off.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Huey knew that around this time in the afternoon on this day, he could find his Tío Panchito watching his _telenovelas_. It was his embarrassing obsession, his Tío José told him once. He would record it on their VHR and watch it in the dead of night. But after they moved into the mansion, his uncle could not resist the lure of watching his favorite shows in glorious HD and surround-sound. Every the afternoon on Thursday, Tío Panchito would venture from the houseboat to the mansion. It was there where Huey found Panchito surrounded by crumpled-up, used tissues.

“¿ _Por qué me haces daño así_ , Diego?” Panchito whined, a throw pillow clenched tightly to his chest.

Huey wisely approached his uncle when a commercial break played. “Hi, Tío Panchito. Mind if I join you?”

When Panchito turned to him, Huey could see tears in the corners of his eyes before they were quickly wiped away. “Of course, Huey! Come,” he patted the empty space next to him on the couch. “Take a seat!”

Huey placed his palms on the couch and lifted himself up until he was securely on the cushions. He let his feet dangle over the edge.

Huey went for the subtle approach. “Soooo, tío, you must’ve performed at a lot of weddings.”

“More than you can count, _pollito_.” Panchito answered, his attention briefly turned back to the tv. There was going to be a sale at the Duckburg SuperStore later this week!

“You probably know a lot about weddings then.”

A laugh went through Panchito. “I know a lot about the drama that goes on at weddings! Like how Cousin Tina dare wore an off-white dress to the ceremony! Or that time at a beach wedding when a seagull flew off with the rings. Or when-”

Huey interrupted Panchito before he could go on a tangent. “Oh so the rings must be really important then!” The duckling leaned in close. “What are the rings like?”

Panchito brought a hand to his chin. “Well, I remember this one wedding trend where the couples would get their birthstones instead of diamonds, but that died out quickly.” He looked back at Huey and based on his impatient expression, was clearly hoping to hear something else.

“There was also-” He stopped mid sentence, brows furrowed in confusion. “Why are you asking me so many questions about rings?”

A gasp escaped his beak when the answer became clear to him. “Don’t tell me-You got a girlfriend?!”

If Huey was drinking something, he would have spat it out by now. “What?! No!”

“A boyfriend?!”

“No, neither!” Huey said firmly. But it did not convince his uncle.

“Then why are you asking me about rings if you have no one to give one to?”

Huey’s cheeks burned when he realized he had no good explanation. “Just because-I’m-No reason! Just wondering!”

“There’s no need to be embarrassed, Huey,” Panchito playfully nudged his nephew, his smile going playful. “You know, I was quite the ladies’ man when I was your age. I would always-”

Huey clamped his hands over his ears before he could finish. “Oh gross, I don’t want to hear this!” He slide off the couch and made a hasty retreat.

Panchito watched him go, tears of pride forming in the corners of his eyes. “They grow up so fast.” He said to no one in particular.

Dramatic guitars blared from the speakers, signaling the end of commercials. Panchito turned back to the television, returning to his stories.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Uncle Donald was where he always was, the houseboat. The man only went into the mansion when necessary and as the houseboat slowly started to come back together, those trips started to lessen. Dewey made his way up the plank, easily keeping his balance despite how unsteady it was. The creaking of wood immediately caught his uncle’s attention.

“Dewey, get off of here! The boat isn’t safe yet!”

“Aw, you don’t want to spend time with me, Uncle Donald?”

Donald’s eyes widen, clearly not expecting such a response. “What? No, it’s just-” He trailed off with a defeated sigh. “You can stay, but be careful!”

Successfully guilting his uncle into letting him stay, Dewey leaned against the railing as he tried to come up with Phase Two of his plan. His wandering eyes landed on a couple of metal nuts. An idea hatched in his mind.

“Hey Uncle Donald, maybe you should put those nuts on your finger so they don’t fall off the boat.”

Donald turned to his nephew to look at him quizzically, waiting for Dewey to tell him it was just a joke. He eyed the nuts reluctantly, but eventually reached for them and one by one, slide each one on his ring finger. The first one hung loosely around his finger. Too big. The second one was slightly smaller, but still too big. Dewey craned his neck as the third one was pushed on with a little more force than the others. Was this the one that fit?

Sadly, no, as Donald muttered something under his breath about it being too tight and tried to tug it off.

It didn’t budge.

Donald tugged on it again as if sheer force would get the nut off alone. As time went on, the duck visibly grew more frustrated. Dewey knew his uncle was at his breaking point.

“Um, Uncle Donald, maybe I can go get some butter to help-”

Dewey was interrupted by a primal scream of rage. Donald shook his fist at the sky as if cursing what god thought it fit to ruin his day. If that wasn’t bad enough, Donald managed to stomp down on one plank with such force that it broke beneath him. The duck disappeared with another, louder scream.

Dewey winced as he heard a loud _SPLASH_ below him.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Louie almost felt sorry for his brothers. He knew he got the easiest uncle to get a ring measurement from. After all, if there was one thing Louie knew it was that their Uncle José was a deep sleeper.

Back on the houseboat, José would nap on the couch, doze off at the dinner table, or drag a chair out on deck to sleep if the sun was out. Very few things could rouse him from his slumber, something Louie and his brothers would use to their advantage. Many pranks were pulled on the parrot during his naps. That, or getting to sneak out and explore for an hour or two. Combine that with the ring sizer he found lying around, this was going to be a piece of cake for him.

Louie found José in the front lawn. The parrot managed to find a hammock and hung it up between two trees. He was napping away, one hand splayed across his chest and the other hanging limply off to the side.

This was just too easy!

Louie approached his uncle, finding no need to be sneaky or quiet about it. He carefully picked up the parrot’s hand and positioned the tool over his ring finger. The first ring he chose slipped on all too easily. Too big. Louie slid that one off and went onto the next one. And the next one, and the next one, and the next one.

Just as the duckling thought the rings were finally getting down to a reasonable size, José turned in his sleep. Louie narrowly missed being hit in the face by his uncle’s hand and the metal tool now attached to it. His back was turned to him, but Louie managed to peek over José’s shoulder. It was laying closely to the parrot’s head.

“Oh, come on!” Louie muttered under his breath.

Louie’s hand brushed against his uncle’s beak as he tried to retrieve it, but it was still out of his reach. In a bold and less-than-brilliant move, he climbed onto the hammock instead of just walking around it. It swayed precariously with his added weight. Now that he was closer, Louie was able to see the numbers etched into the metal and how well the current size fit around José’s finger. To his dismay, it still wasn’t the right size.

Louie lunged his body across José’s, still not being able to quite reach. Frustrated, he decided the best course of action would be to climb on top of his uncle. Knees digging between the parrot’s ribs, Louie forgot three important things. One, pressing down on someone’s chest was bound to wake up anyone with a pair of functioning lungs. Two, while his Uncle José was a deep sleeper, he was someone with a functioning pair of lungs. Three, while his Uncle José slept like the dead, he wasn’t actually dead. Therefore, a weight on his lungs was a sure way to wake him up.

José woke up with a start, nearly toppling Louie and himself out of the hammock. The duckling grabbed both sides to keep them both on. Once secure, Louie looked up only to see two bleary eyes slowly starting to focus on him.

“Louie?” José asked,voice tinged with uncertainty.

Louie took his chance. The green duckling outstretched his hand and put it over his uncle’s eyes. “Shhh, this is all a dream~” He said in his best whimsical voice.

Surprisingly enough, it worked.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Scrooge McDuck preferred to work from home whenever possible. At home, no angry vultures criticized his every (completely necessary!) spending habit, or tell him how they had to cut funding for yet another department. His office was his sanctuary, place for the “real” work to get done.

The trillionaire took a seat in a chair almost as old as him and set down his saucer of nutmeg tea in its usual spot. But the usual sound of delicate porcelain meeting wood was muffled, something even his old ears could pick up.

There, underneath the saucer, was a thick, ivory envelope. Ivory, not white like the color all of his official business documents came in.

Curiosity got the better of him so Scrooge placed his now-forgotten drink elsewhere and picked up the envelope. None of his official documents had his home address absent and his full name, _Scrooge McDuck_ , written painstakingly in cursive.

He turned it around, noticing the wax seal keeping it closed. Now that was something he hadn’t seen in decades! With curiosity getting the better of him, Scrooge found his letter opener and cut open the seal. A liberal amount of glitter spilled onto his lap as he read the letter.

_You Are Formally Invited For The_

_Surprise_

_Wedding_

_Of_

_Donald Duck,_

_José Carioca,_

_And_

_Panchito Romero Miguel Junipero Francisco Quintero González Pistoles The Third_

_Where: The McDuck Mansion_

_When:_

Opening the envelope left Scrooge with more questions than answers. Why was Donald getting married again? Who made this invitation? Why was there no wedding date? Why was there a wedding being held in his mansion without his knowledge? Was there even such thing as a surprise wedding? Was that really Panchito’s full name?

This had to be a joke, Scrooge concluded. An elaborate joke played by none other than his great-grandnephews. He pushed his chair back roughly and stood up from his desk. The trillionaire marched out of his office and into the winding halls of his mansion. Even though they resided here for a short time, he already knew the location of their room by heart.

The door swung open and inside was… Huey, Dewey, and Louie collapsed on the floor, groaning in exhaustion? Papers were strewn around them like confetti. Ech paper was titled “Plan #1” and “Plan #2” and so on. They never looked this tired before, not even when they had a week’s worth of adventure jam packed into one day. The boys didn’t even acknowledge his intrusion.

Webby was the only kid of the bunch standing, gleefully looking over whatever was on the clipboard in her hands. She checked something off with her pen.

“Okay, so far I got Gyro, Fenton, and Mrs. Quackfaster on the guest list. I was thinking we could also invite-” She looked up, completive face going blank when her eyes landed on Scrooge. Her hands fumbled as she tried to hide the clipboard behind her back. She gave the old duck a sheepish grin.

“Oh, Mister Scrooge! Is it time for another adventure already?”

“What’s going on here?” He gestured to the pile of ducklings. “And what on Earth happened to you three?”

“We’ve been chasing our uncles all day for ring measurements.” Huey answered with a groan. He gestured to the papers scattered around them. “As you can see, things didn't go so well.”

Dewey picked up his head to look at Scrooge straight on. “You don’t happen to have a ring that magically changes size when placed on someone’s finger, do you?” Dewey asked. When Scrooge didn’t respond, the duckling flopped his head back to the ground. “No? Welp, I tried.”

For a moment, Scrooge forgot what brought him here. Then he felt the weight of the stationary paper in his hand and saw the glitter sticking to his lap. He held up the invitation accusingly. “Would you four care to tell me what in the blazes this is suppose to be?!”

Webby, being the most conscious duckling in the room, saw the invitation and gasped. She gave the boys an accusing glare. “Guys, I told you not to hand out the invitations until I got everything ready for the wedding!” She made an exasperated motion with her arms. “The invites weren’t even finished!”

Louie picked his head up. “Bold of you to assume we know the difference. We saw the cards in our room and thought they were done!”

Webby sighed, then decided to tell the truth. “Huey, Dewey, Louie, and I decided we should throw a surprise wedding for their Uncle Donald, Panchito, and José.” She said plainly.

Somehow, the truth was even more confusing than whatever excuse Scrooge thought she would make up. “They’re already married! Why on Earth would they need a wedding?!” He asked.

Webby twiddled with her fingers, pointedly looking away from him. “I maybe, kinda overheard your conversation with Mister Duck and I thought, after so long, they deserved a nice wedding…” She trailed off, going quiet towards the end.

The sincerity of her statement made Scrooge pause. Scrooge did not consider himself to be a overly sentimental man, but there were times in the past when he would look at the ducklings in his care and wonder about their future. How he would have been the one to walk Della down the aisle for her wedding. How Donald, stubborn Donald, would insist on not wanting anything from him, but Scrooge would still have snuck in a nice wedding gift for him.

But Della was gone and his relationship with Donald had be strained to a near breaking point. But that did not mean he couldn’t make things right. He could help give Donald, Panchito, and José the wedding they always deserved. It would be a gift to Donald and to the men that made him smile in a way he never quite could.

To the men that were there for him during the hardest part of his life.

“I’ll help.” Scrooge said, prompting all the faces in the room to look at him. He was as determined as he was on any of their adventures.

“Now come on, we’ve got a lot of work to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second part will be uploaded by the end of the month! See you guys then!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the wedding actually happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: My first exposure to The Three Caballeros was the Grand Fiesta ride in Epcot. I asked my mom who the rooster and parrot were and why were they harassing Donald Duck on his vacation in Mexico. Not very relevant to this chapter, but thought it would be funny to share.
> 
> Anyway, here's the long-awaited wedding of the Three Caballeros!

 

Early mornings on the houseboat were the only time someone could describe the home as peaceful.

The waves were at their lowest yet strong enough to push the boat like a crib. Light would reflect on the water, creating a spectacular illusion of glittering jewels. The same light would creep up into the windows, casting a warm spot on the wooden floor below. As the sun rose, the ray of sun would hit the hammock where three sleeping birds lied.

Donald woke up first as always. Years of adventuring and the navy set his internal alarm clock at the crack of dawn, earlier if the duck got a good night’s sleep. He woke up to a leg between his thighs, a knee in his side, a hand on his chest, feathers in his face, a head resting against his shoulder, and a chin on top of his head. Donald got to removing each limb off of his person. After years of sharing a hammock with two men (And occasionally, three ducklings), Donald got good at moving a sleep person without waking them.

Next came getting out of the hammock. He had won the Who-Gets-To-Be-In-The-Middle-Tonight argument last night, a victory which only had the downside of having to climb over someone the next morning. Luckily for him, José was the one sleeping on his left. The parrot could sleep through an earthquake, much less an arm or a leg brushed up against him. If it had been Panchito, that would have been a different story.

Still, Donald muttered a soft apology as he climbed over José as he did each morning he got out of bed. As expected, José did not stir. When his feet were on the floor, Donald turned and watched as Panchito shifted around in the hammock to make up for losing his body. Panchito found José after blindly groping around and pulled him in. The parrot adjusted and wrapped his arms around the rooster’s waist. Donald always stopped his morning ritual to watch this, softly smiling at the sight. Even after all these years, he never tired of domestic moments like this.

Satisfied, Donald opened the door to the closet to get ready for the day.

Only to find that his uniform was gone and replaced.

His squawk of surprise was loud enough to wake Panchito. He shot up with José in his arms, the parrot half in his lap and half in the hammock.

“Donald, what’s wrong?” Panchito asked with a yawn.

“My outfit-” He stopped short after taking another glance at the closet “Our outfits are gone! And got replaced with this!” Not even his sailor hat had been spared!

The duck pulled out a snazzy, ivory tuxedo. He knew very well that it was not his being that it looked more expensive than every piece of clothing he owned combined. Panchito and José’s outfits were still the same, the only difference being that they were white.

Panchito, now concerned, shook José’s shoulder roughly to wake him up. A minute of jostling passed before his eyes opened.

“Huh?” The parrot said eloquently.

“José, someone messed with our clothes!”

José managed the arduous task of leaning forward, nearly toppling out of it, to inspect the clothes Donald held in front of his face. The parrot blinked at his jacket.

“Is this why you keep telling me to not mix the colors with the whites?”

Donald resisted the urge to drag a hand down his face. He opted to throw Panchito and José’s outfits on them. “Come on, let’s find out what’s going on. The boys are probably trying to pull a prank on us.”

Once they were all dressed, Donald ignoring how the suit fit him perfectly, they marched out of the bedroom. Fearful of Donald’s prediction coming true, José shielded himself from any surprise attacks with his umbrella. The outfits were not theirs, but it would be a shame for them to get ruined by a food fight or paint gun war.

Nothing could prepare them for what was outside.

The first thing they noticed was the flower petals crunching under their feet. The petals made a trail from their door to the plank connecting the boat to the rest of the backyard. There, just a few feet away from them, was a scene straight out of a wedding magazine.

Rows upon rows of chairs were draped in white silk, each having a ginormous bow tied to its back. The petals, enough of them to form a carpet (A rainbow of colors, Donald noticed) they were stepping on went past the chairs and ended at a wooden arch swathed in bundles of white tulle.

It was beautiful, all three men thought.

“Good, you guys are dressed.”

The three birds were too busy gawking to notice their nephews walking up besides them. It seemed they were not the only ones well-dressed today, with Huey, Dewey, and Louie wore  matching tuxedos in black along with bow ties in their respective colors.

“Why are you wearing those suits?” Donald asked, thinking how he never bought his boys something so extravagant. José’s finger twitched as he resisted the urge to snap of photo of the triplets looking so handsome.

Louie proudly adjusted the collar of his tuxedo, clearly adoring the fact that such expensive fabric was on his skin. “We got to look spiffy if we’re going to be the Best Men for your wedding.

Donald’s face went lax with confusion. “Wedding?”

“Yes, your wedding.” A Scottish voice said. Stepping up onto the boat, red coat and spats replaced with black, was Scrooge McDuck.

“Scrooge? What’s all of this?!”

“Your wedding! Are you deaf, lad?” Scrooge chided his nephew. “Yes, this is your wedding and don’t worry, I’ve taken the liberty of inviting a few guests.”

“ _¡Panchito!”_

It was a miracle that Panchito did not fall into the pool as a flurry of red feathers came barreling towards him. When Panchito managed to pull it back and get a good look at it, he gasped. “ _¿Mama?_ ”

Panchito’s mother vigorously nodded.

“ _¿C-Cómo has llegado hasta aquí?_ ” He asked, holding onto his mother’s arms tight just in case this all was just a dream.

“ _Señor Scrooge nos invitó._ ” Panchito’s father replied, who had walked up behind his wife with a few more members of the family. José and Donald were also hugged and greeted by various members of Panchito’s family.

Panchito looked at Scrooge as if to ask if how all of this came to be. Scrooge shrugged as if transporting an entire family across the globe was not a big deal at all. “We needed to fill up the seats somehow. I wasn’t going to let all these chairs I rented go to waste.”

Panchito opened his mouth to ask how they all came here. Scrooge beat him to the punch.  “Launchpad flew them in. Without crashing.” He added

He pointed his cane over to the beefy duck who was currently sitting at an organ brought outside. Launchpad waved from his bench, his usual outfit also replaced with a snazzy tuxedo. Panchito couldn’t decide on what was more surprising; that Launchpad was able to fly without crashing or that he knew how to play the organ.

Donald took another look at the scene before, wondering if this was just some fantastical hallucination. Yet the fragrant smell of flowers and the feeling of expensive fabric against his feathers was all too real to be so.

He struggled to speak past the lump that formed in his throat. “You-You did this, for us?” At a lost, he looked at his partners for a clue. José was trying to preserve some modicum of dignity by muffling his sobs with his hand tightly against his beak. Panchito, on the other hand, made no effort to conceal his emotions as a mixture of tears and snot traveled down his face, hiccups interrupting his sobs. Seeing your family all together in person for the first time in years on the day of your surprise wedding would do that to a man.

“Oh Panchito, don’t cry,” José pleaded, approaching the rooster from his left side as Panchito’s father rubbed circles on his son’s back while his mother wiped away the tears with her handkerchief. He slipped his hand into Panchito’s. “You know that when you cry, I cry as well.”

And cry he did, though José’s tears were much more subdued than Panchito’s. The tears proved to be contagious through, as Donald’s vision became blurry with his own. He joined José, Panchito’s parents taking a step back so that the duck could embrace his husbands.

“Come now, you aren’t supposed to cry until the ceremony starts!” Scrooge playfully scolded them. The kids and him exchanged knowing nods. Scrooge turned around and cupped his hands around his beak. “Places, everyone!”

Panchito’s mother dabbed her son’s face once more with her handkerchief before ushering the rest of the family into their seats. As everyone hurried to their respective places, Scrooge took a few more moments with Donald.

“I would walk you down the aisle, Donald, but-” He pointedly looked down at his nephew’s hands which were now being tightly squeezed by Panchito and José. It didn’t look like they were going to let go anytime soon. “No harm done though, surprise weddings aren’t exactly traditional afterall.” With that, he left for his seat in the very front row.

Donald, Panchito, and José stood at the beginning of the flower carpet leading to their new future. They exchanged looks, each man wanting to express their love and dedication to each other in a way words could not describe.

“Who would’ve thought some knuckleheads who made a band in college would end up getting married? Again?” Panchito said, eyes red from his excessive crying.

“A love story for the ages.” José added, leaning his head against Donald’s shoulder. He looked out to the scene before them, all of their loved ones in one place for them. The parrot thought he was in Heaven.

Donald had the same thought in mind, but he knew there was one person missing.

“Well, let’s make it official?” He asked.

Panchito and José nodded. “Let’s.”

When their feet hit the carpet, Launchpad started to play. They walked passed the guests who had looks of warmth on their faces. When they passed by Scrooge, the old duck gave his nephews and his husbands broad smile as if to say, “I’m so proud of you”. It took Donald all of his willpower not to start crying there and then.

Under the arch, where rays of sunlight had moved to create an angelic light effect over it, Donald saw another familiar face under it.

“Ms. B, you’re a priest?”

Beakley shrugged. “An ordained minister. I got my license for an undercover mission.”

Donald made the wise decision of not asking her to elaborate further. He stayed quiet as Beakley cleared her throat to announce the wedding.

“Dearly beloved, friends and family, we are gathered here today to celebrate the love between three men. A love that knows no bound, a love that can withstand and withstood every hardship thrown its way.”

A pause, then Beakley spoke directly to them. “I know this is short notice, but would you three like to exchange any vows?”

“I got an idea!” Panchito piped up. He pulled Jose and Donald close, whispering low enough that not even Mrs. Beakley could hear. Whatever he said was met with enthusiastic agreement. They pulled back from each other and put their hands in, one at a time.

“Squawk, crow, quack! I got your back!”

The guests laughed and the triplets resisted the urge to roll their eyes. Of course their uncles would do something as corny as that.

“Now, will the ring bearer present the rings?” Beakley asked.

Webby proudly held up the rings on a velvet pillow, lowering it once the three birds took one each.

José let out a laugh in spite of the tears running down his face. “W-Who’s going to put whose ring on?” A laugh went through the crowd.

Panchito was not faring better in terms of tears, but he powered through it. “I know, Donald can put our rings on us then you and I will put on Donald’s ring together.” When Donald gave him a questioning look at the suggestion, the rooster laughed. “You were the one who brought us all together!”

It was difficult, putting the rings on with shaking hands, but Donald managed. Panchito and José fared no better as they did the same, their eyes probably too filled with tears to see properly. When the rings were securely on, they all stopped for a moment to appreciate how they glistened in the sunlight before turning back to Beakley. Their hands found each other soon after.

“José Carioca,” Beakley began. “Do you take these men to be your lawfully wedded husbands, to have and to hold from this day forward. For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do you part?”

José brought his hand up to his eye. When he pulled away, a tear stained his white glove. “I do.”

“Panchito Romero Miguel Junipero Francisco Quintero González Pistoles The Third.” Beakley said, managing the impressive feat of saying the rooster’s full name in one breath. “Do you take these men to be your lawfully wedded husbands, to have and to hold from this day forward. For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do you part?”

Panchito did not answer right away, too busy trying to figure out how to wipe the snot from his beak without ruining his suit. Luckily, Huey came prepared and handed his uncle a tissue, even going so far as to take it for him after he blowed into it. The rooster gave his nephew a grateful smile before turning back to Beakley. “I do.”

Finally, her eyes landed on Donald.

“Donald Duck,” Beakley said. “Do you take these men as your lawful husbands, to have and to hold, from this day forward,”

Donald squeezed his husbands’ hands tightly, feeling their new rings dig into his palm.

“For better or for worse,”

Webby clutched the ring bearer pillow closely to her chest to suppress a squeal.

“For richer or for poorer,”

José fought down the urge to correct Beakley about how he and Panchito have already faced that trial together with Donald (And how they would gladly do it all over again).

“In sickness and in health,”

Tears pricked the corners of Scrooge’s eyes despite how he swore he wouldn’t cry today.

“To love and to cherish until death do you part?”

Scrooge could feel the tears make their way down his cheeks as he proudly watched his nephew open his beak and say, “I-”

A loud wail cut through the air.

All guests turned their heads to the source of the sobbing when it did not cease. Launchpad was bent over the keys of the organ as his body was racked with sobs. When he picked up his head and realized everyone had their eyes on him, he sniffed and hastily wiped away the tears with his sleeve.

“S-Sorry, guys. I just always get emotional at weddings.”

A few sighs and amused chuckles came from the guests. Donald turned back to Beakley. “I do.”

Beakley’s eyes crinkled as a smile spread across her beak. “Then by the power invested in me and the city of Duckburg, I now pronounce you three husbands!” By now, most of the guests were either sniffling or dabbing their eyes with handkerchiefs. “You may now kiss the grooms.”

Scrooge made sure to clap the loudest.

 

~ ~ ~

 

The reception afterwards was, as Dewey called it, an absolute rager.

The food served was exquisite, but paled in comparison to the cake. It was a three-tier monstrosity that was nearly as tall as Launchpad and tasted like Heaven. Of course, everyone was able to get a second or even third helping due to its size.

On the dance floor, a nostalgic surprise came in the form of a song from a Three Caballeros album made during their college days (Though Donald swore he burned every copy they made save one). They took so many photos that their beaks were starting to hurt from all the smiling. It didn’t help that each of Panchito’s many relatives wanted an individual photo with them. And despite their more unusual guests, like the horse with Scrooge’s head, they all made for pleasant company.

Speaking of which, José felt a tug on the tail of his jacket. When he looked down, he saw an anthropomorphic lightbulb holding up a wrapped box complete with a bow on top. The bulb shook the box at him, a gesture for him to take it.

“Oh, um, thank you.” The parrot said, kneeling down to accept the gift. The box was only in his hands for a second before it was snatched away.

“Sorry, there’s been a mistake, this isn’t your wedding gift.” Gyro said to a puzzled José, the bulb squirming in his hand. “Your real gift is a toaster. A non-sentient one.”

With that, Gyro stalked away. He released his grip on Lil’ Bulb once they were away from the other guests, bringing his invention up to his face. “What have I told you about gifting bombs to people, Lil’ Bulb?!” The light bulb defiantly crossed its arms, turning its body away from its creator. Gyro pointed a finger approximately where its face would be, taking none of its attitude. “We do not do that!”

José stood up, baffled from the brief exchange. When he saw his newly-wed husbands and the kids over in the corner, he made a beeline for them.

“I can’t believe you kids were able to pull this off!” Panchito exclaimed. His kids were talented, he had no doubt about that, but a wedding of this size and grandeur couldn’t have possibly be something they learned while adventuring with Scrooge.

“Don’t thank us, thank Webby!” Dewey said, eagerly pointing to Webby. “She did all the planning! She was the one who suggested throwing you guys a wedding in the first place!”

“We just did everything she told us to do!” Louie added.

There was little warning before Panchito scooped up the girl and gave her one of his trademark hugs. “ _¡Muchas gracias, niña!_ ”

Huey, Dewey, and Louie could only watch in horror as they witnessed what they believed was the suffocation of their friend. They had years of experience when it came to their uncle’s bone-crushing hugs, Webby’s body was simply not use to it! Yet when she pulled back, a giant smile was on her face and she eagerly returned the hug. The boys let out a sigh of relief. They should’ve known if anyone could handle them, it would be Webby.

Panchito lowered her to the floor, where her hair was affectionately ruffled by Donald and José. “I can’t take all the credit,” Webby laughed, flustered from the attention. “Scrooge helped pull the whole thing together!”

Even over the din of the loud music, Donald could hear his uncle approaching from behind. The old duck came into view, a cup of whatever punch Mrs. B whipped up in his hand.

“Why don’t you four run along for now?” Scrooge asked the children. They left with little complaint, making Donald wonder what his uncle’s secret of getting kids to listen to him was. His husbands and him were now alone with Scrooge, the party going on in the background.

With everything going on, Scrooge managed to get a good look of Donald for the first time tonight. There was a subtle kind of relaxation throughout his body, like he had taken a break from shouldering the entire world on his back. His face was flushed from the exertion of dancing, his shoulders squared and proud. The neutral scowl always present had been replaced with an easygoing grin. Overall, Donald looked happy. The happiest he had ever been.

Donald opened his beak, half-formed words falling from his mouth as he tried to concoct a proper thank-you for his uncle.  Scrooge cut him off with a cough. “I’ve got a little something for you, lads.”

Scrooge stepped to the side. Behind him, lying on a table, were three guitars. Each one was a different color, the wood respectively being stained green, red, and blue. Even to the untrained eye, one could tell that they were hand carved and made from the finest wood available. The three newly-weds carefully picked up their guitars, holding the instruments reverently for the pieces of art they were.

Donald managed to tear his eyes away from the instrument long enough to look at Scrooge. “H-How did you-”

“I know a guy.” Was Scrooge’s answer. He lightly tapped Donald’s guitar with the end of his cane. “These are practically indestructible, so feel free to do whatever shenanigans you wish. Just not in the money bin”

José cradled the guitar to his chest. “How can we ever thank you for this, Mister McDuck?”

The duck in question made a halting gesture with his hand. “Please, it’s Uncle Scrooge from now on.”

Before he even had time to blink, Panchito rushed forward in a white and red blur. He embraced Scrooge fiercely, Donald and José joining him shortly after, though a bit more gently. His old bones creaked in protest, but Scrooge said nothing. Instead, he made the effort to wrap his arms around all three birds. He was not the hugging type, but he would make an exception for his nephews.

For his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHHHH, so this chapter was pretty hard to write! Might come back to this in the future and rewrite a few scenes to make it more descriptive and less word-vomity. But I hope you guys enjoyed this fluffy filler chapter as I promise the next chapter will have PAIN in it.
> 
> Some of you may recognize the vow part of the story because it was inspired by a textpost on Tumblr where someone said the Three Cabs would definitely say their catchphrase at their wedding. If any of you can find it, please let me know so that I can credit them!
> 
> The lovely piece of art featured in this chapter was made by https://twitter.com/TheSunNamedMoon . I was given permission by them to use it in the story! Go check out their Twitter, they're an amazing artist!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed! Leave a comment and kudos if you did! 
> 
> You can find me on my Tumblr here: https://dibella-goddess-of-beauty.tumblr.com/  
> Bamboozledeage's Tumblr: https://bamboozledeagle.tumblr.com/


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